What a dreary day before Halloween.  Which also happens to be my dad's 75th birthday!  Happy Birthday to the best Dad a girl could ask for.  Thinking of you brightens my day.

I will give you a disclaimer before I even begin that this mom is feeling a bit tired and defeated this week.  My patience is extra thin and my heart is extra heavy.  I don't like to cry so when I get the urge, I usually tell myself to knock it off.  It makes me tired and I suppose in a way, makes me feel weak.  I know that sounds kind of dumb but, I don't like to feel weak and vulnerable.  I am supposed to be the mom who has it all together.  You know the one that has the plate that never gets full, the glass that is always half full/not empty, that takes each curveball that life sends my way and smacks it out of the park.  I think we as moms sometimes expect too much out of ourselves.  I know I do.  We put on a façade to make people think we have a perfect family, a perfect home, a perfect marriage.  When honestly our children are far from perfect and sometimes they really disappoint us.  Our homes are a cluttered mess so we stuff everything into a closet and one day when you open the door, it all comes falling out.  And when we step out in public with our spouse, we put on our fake smiles and pretend like we've got it all together when really we don't.  I don't really know what point I am trying to make other than to tell myself and maybe you, if you feel the same way I do, that it is okay to not be Super Mom (or Dad).  It is okay to admit you are weak and vulnerable.  It's okay that sometimes you feel really disappointed in yourself or your loved ones but, we are not perfect and we do make mistakes.  Forgive yourself for your disappointments and forgive others for disappointing you.  Put one foot in front of the other and carry on... and don't look back.  And put a smile on your face because it looks so much better than a frown.  And that my friends, is my two cents for the day. 

Lauren and Lindsey had their 12 year old check up yesterday.  Twelve...it is such a big number for my babies.  I shared our behavior/emotional issues the girls have been having and she is referring us to a developmental pediatrician to see about some treatment options.  Not sure yet what that entails, but we do know we can't keep dealing with these outbursts without losing our minds.  I want to share something with you that I hope you take to heart.  When you are out in public and you see a family with a disruptive child and you think to yourself, "If that was my kid, they would never act like that. Why do their parents let him/her get away with that type of behavior?"  Then you give them a dirty look or make a snide comment about them,  know that that child may have a behavior disorder or a mental condition and "those" parents are doing their best to try and deal with their child.  Chances are, they are at their wit's end and would love nothing more than to have a child who acts perfectly in public.   Give them some grace and maybe a smile to encourage them.  We have been on the receiving end of the "stink eye" in church and the glares in public before so this is coming straight from the heart of one of "those" parents.  Maybe your smile and encouraging words or actions might give that mom or dad what they need to make it through the day.   Let us be encouraging and not discouraging. 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.  I in no way mean to offend anyone with my two cents, which turned into four.  I have always been a strong believer in building people up instead of tearing them down.  Every single one of us has so much to offer and life is too short my friends.  Be an encouragement to those who God has placed in your path.  They are there for a reason. 

I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to design this blog...  Why am I so challenged at this?  Why do they have to make it so hard?  All I want is for my picture of the girls to be front and center, without half of Lindsey's head cut off and the "blog" to not take up half of the picture.  Is that too  much to ask for?  I have literally spent way too much time trying to figure it out.  If you are blog savvy, leave me a comment and tell me how to fix my issues.  Please. 

The flu bug made a quick exit from our house and did not infect anyone else.  PTL!  Hopefully it will be another few years before we have to deal with that crap again.  No pun intended...

Exciting news this week is that Lindsey got her front tooth fixed!  When she was two years old, she did a face plant into the wall and knocked out her baby front tooth. Up until the time the girls were about two, they did not have a full head of hair.  Lindsey had a hemangioma on the top of her head that we used to tell the girls apart.  Shortly after getting a full head of hair, Lindsey lost her tooth and we were then able to use her toothless grin to tell them apart.  Looking back at pictures of her grin just melts my heart!

 

 

When Lindsey's permanent tooth came in, it was bruised and had a "notch" at the top and never grew in as far as her other front tooth.  About a year ago, to make matters worse, she chipped it.  Finally, after asking the dentist for years to fix it, he agreed to this year since it hasn't grown anymore.  He put a nice fancy crown on it and hopefully it will not break!  She loves her new tooth and now her smile is more beautiful than ever!

 

Boy, if you ever want to become emotional, look at old pictures of your kids.  How did they grow up so quickly? 

I found this one of Delaney and Mason "shaking their tail feather" back in Chippewa Falls.  The kids used to listen to music and dance all around the house and we would just laugh and laugh.  Those were the good ol' days.  I think the six months we lived in Chippewa Falls held some of the greatest memories for us.  The girls never had to go to the hospital for a seizure while we lived there.  That was a miracle in itself.  We were involved in a wonderful church and met a lot of great people.  There were three ladies, two of which ended up living right by us, who volunteered to come into our house and watch the twins so that I could go to a mother's group at church once a week.   In addition on Sunday mornings, because the girls were so medically fragile and illness was a no-no, they had volunteers who watched the girls in a room all by themselves so they wouldn't be exposed to others.  I shared our family's testimony at a church event while we were there that showed how God was instrumental in getting us to Chippewa Falls and how His hand was guiding us while we were there.  It was truly amazing.  I have always said that the time we spent in Wisconsin was the most wonderful experience for us.  Well maybe the cold and snowy winter wasn't too wonderful but, the atmosphere and people who surrounded us were such a blessing.  I had told one of  my friends that the only way I would leave Chippewa Falls was if we could go back home to Des Moines.  A couple of weeks later, we got the news that Matt was being promoted to Altoona.  It was bittersweet to leave but, we have some great memories of the time we spent there.   We are thankful to be home and close to our families but, we will always have a special place in our hearts for Wisconsin. 

If you will excuse me, my Kleenex and I are going to continue looking at pictures from the good ol' days.  If you are a mom with younger children reading this, enjoy these years because soon your babies will be teenagers like mine and all you will have are the memories.  Sniffle sniffle... 
    

 

 

 



The dreaded stomach flu crept it's way into our house via Lauren.  I think waking up to a child puking is worse than waking up to a seizure.  That smell....invaded my nostrils all day.  Matt and I shared the duties.  He cleaned the bed and I cleaned Lauren.  Both of us took turns gagging and running out of the room.  I am sure had a hidden video been present, it would have been hilarious to watch.  Hopefully Lauren is the only victim of this bout with the bug.  Keeping our fingers crossed!  Of course, as it usually happens, she was sick on the day of Special Olympic bowling competition yesterday.  She was P.O.'d  and heartbroken all at the same time.  Matt stayed home with her while my parents and I accompanied Lindsey, who bowled a 56 her second game!  She had a blast and was very good about keeping how much fun she had on the down low last night around Lauren.  Lauren is still wondering when it is time to go bowling for school.  I think a trip to the bowling alley is in our near future.  Luckily, she will still get a ribbon from the Special Olympics even though she wasn't able to participate.  She is still home today recovering.  Super Dad carried her toys up from the basement so she is camped out in front of the TV with all of her "guys" and is as happy as can be.  Figured she would be mad that Lindsey is at school without her again but, not the case.  Phew! 

This week we were able to send our "samples" off to Baylor for our genetic testing.  We only needed blood samples for Lauren since they only need to test one girl.  If they do find a gene mutation, they will test Lindsey specifically for that gene.  Matt and I had to give saliva samples...that was kinda gross.  The testing takes at least four months so now we just sit back and wait.

This past weekend a good friend of ours took some family pictures for us.  Needless to say, getting six people to look at the camera with their eyes open and smiles on their faces was challenging to say the least.   It was a good experience and now that everyone knows what to expect, we are going to try it again next week.  I may have a few tricks up my sleeve next time to make things go more smoothly.  A happy pill for the teenage girl and some bribery for the others.  Below are a couple of cute ones of the girlies.  Will put some of the big kids on after our next photo shoot, pending their approval. :)

 

Milestones

Blogging 101... If you are going to quote something, at least make sure you quote it right.  My previous post should have read:  "Not knowing allows room for faith to grow.  Not knowing creates a space for miracles to happen."  Thanks to my dear husband for pointing out my error.  He did it so sweetly as to not make me feel like an idiot.  Love that guy.

 

October is here.  I love this month.  It is a very busy one for us and I think it is by far the most beautiful month of the year.  I love to see God's beauty as the leaves turn such brilliant colors.  Would love to just hop in the car and drive for days to take it all in.  Maybe someday....

 

Today my amazing parents celebrate 54 years of marriage.  As L&L would say, "That is a big number!"  It hasn't been an easy 54 years for them as they faced many trials throughout the years.  But, their love for each other never failed as they persevered through each trial.  They are the best parents a girl could ask for and have set such a great example for me. 

 

 Tomorrow, our precious girls turn 12 years old.  The tears fall as I think about each new milestone we have reached with them.  Eleven years ago when we were given their diagnosis, we had no idea how long we would be blessed to have them here with us.  I am so grateful for a faithful God who has protected them and allowed us to reach all of these milestones.  We do not take one day for granted.   I think back to when we found out we were having twins.  Matt laughed and I cried.  We still have the VHS tape from the ultrasound and the tape is very shaky as I cried and thought, "how are we going to take care of two babies?"  Delaney was 3 at the time and Mason was 18 months, still in diapers.  I still remember Delaney calling our parents and telling them, "Mommy has two babies in her tummy!"  I remember the cesarean delivery when they doctor said, "they are fighting to get out first!"  Lauren was born first with Lindsey a close 30 seconds behind.  They still fight to this day about who gets to go first at everything.  They even fight about who gets to get a shot or blood drawn first.  Thank you Jesus for our girls who have the ability to fight to go first!  Happy Birthday L&L!  

   

 

On the 12th, Matt and I will celebrate our 17 year anniversary.  It was a beautiful day with the leaves turning colors, bright sunshine and warm temperatures.  So warm that our wedding cake started to melt.  We had to hurry up and do pictures and cut the cake before it toppled over.  That was the only hitch in the otherwise perfect day to start our lives together.  I thank God for picking Matt for me and I could not ask for a better husband.  He is faithful, loving, patient, funny, hard-working, an amazing father and my best friend.  I am truly blessed. 

   

 

We close out October with my dad's 75th birthday.  Thinking of my dad just makes me smile.  He doesn't know a stranger and will literally strike up a conversation with anyone.  One day when I was much younger, he conned me into asking a mannequin for directions in a department store.  My friends used to think he was so intimidating as he has this look that could pierce right through you.  But really, he is a big teddy bear and would do anything for anyone.  He is a piece of work and I am so thankful for him.

 

Hello October, so glad you are here.  Blessed beyond measure....